If you’ve begun writing a memoir, you might have noticed that the process is revealing aspects of yourself and your past that you failed to recognize before.
It’s a little like assembling a jigsaw puzzle that you’re still seeking all the pieces to and slowly beginning to understand their relationship to one another.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, much of my writing is about work. I’ve had an enormously checkered work life; writing the memoir is forcing me to figure out the “whys” of much of it.
For example, when I first began working while I attended college, I was totally unprepared for the business world. It wasn’t until my memoir writing partner asked, “Why?” that I began digging into the reasons.
For one thing, I’d graduated from high school when I was only 16. For another I held an academic degree, so I didn’t know anything about office work—just about the only type of work that was available to women in the 1960s. I had been turned down for a job as a stewardess by a bemused woman who told me, “I’m very sorry, but we don’t hire Negroes.”
But there was more to it than that. It had something to do with the way I was reared—and the fact that my expectations and those of my parents for me were vague and conflicted. And that’s what I’ve been exploring.
When I teach writing to boomers and seniors, I encourage them to dig into their pasts to locate the truths beneath the myths we all grow up with.
That’s the best (though often unsettling) way to convey who we really are.
If you’d like help writing your life stories or memoirs, check out my Testimonials, then use the Contact tab to get in touch. I’m experienced and easy to work with, and my references are superb.
Lynnette,
Thank you for your insightful post. I am having a similar experience as I begin my memoir writing through my food blog.
I also got some conflicted messages from my family regarding work (for one, my dad pressured me to go to college because he dropped out of high school during the Depression. I had no desire to go to college and no interest whatsoever in my major, education) so there is a lot to explore.
I look forward to reading more of your thoughts and memories.
Best wishes,
Barb
I truly relate to the conflicted messages you received, Barbara! I got similar ones concerning attending college. They’ll show up in my memoir, My Mother’s Money.
I’ll be interested to know how your memoir is shaping up. Think I’ll go check out your blog right now. What a clever way to write a memoir. I’ve read some life stories structured around of food (as mine is around money) and they were superb.
Tx for your comment! Please visit again.
Hi Barbara:
I left a comment on your iconoclastic blog. Not sure if it registered . . . I’m going to email you about your work with people wanting to preserve family recipes. – Lynette
I can definitely relate to your comments. I started writing what’s become my memoir back in 1994 – at least I thought I was writing. In reality I was wanting to document the seven-year experience I had at boarding school and traveling the world so anyone who read it would understand why I was weird and angry. Before the words came out all the reasons seemed so clear in my mind. Yet when I started outlining things I discovered there was a hole. Something just didn’t feel right. I wrote down 135,000 words before moving on to short stories and science fiction and then my own magazine column.
After a long hiatus I picked up the writing in 2008. I thought I’d just finish my memoir and that was that. Except that giant hole still existed. In the end, I discovered the story wasn’t about my times at boarding school but about my relationship with my brother with the boarding school and world travel as a backdrop. I never expected that when I started, either back in 1994 or 2008. 😉
Wow, Richard. Now I *am* fascinated about your story, and admire the fact that you got to the bottom of your experience and what you’re *really” writing about. Remind me: are you finished with your memoir?